I feel sad whenever a girl changes her surname after marriage. Why? Because it doesn’t symbolize gender equality. It also has a foul smell of patriarchy associated with it.
By the way, why is it not the other way round? Why is it that the woman always changes her surname? Why don’t men do that? Strange, right?
Right through her teenage years, through school, through college, she has been known by that name. It is her identity. If not her whole identity, then at least a very important part of it. So why change it after marriage. Yes, you can attempt to justify it in a number of ways, but I find this tradition to be ridiculous.
If you are a man, just think about it for a moment. We are going to change your surname to something else. Are you willing? Now, the odds are you won’t agree. But there will be many of you who might say that you love her and you can do anything for her. So, you are willing to change your surname. But do you really need to change your name to show your love to her? No, absolutely not. In the same way, she doesn’t have to change her name to prove anything to you.
If you ponder some more over this tradition, you will see that it is one of those many inequalities that woman are subjected to. Inequalities like? There are a lot of them. I am sure you might already have thought of a few. I would have listed them but that would have taken a lot of time. Unfortunately, there are so many of them.
And what surprises me the most is the fact that some women seem so eager to change their surnames after marriage. Maybe, I am not correct. Maybe, that eagerness is only on the surface. But, trust me! That’s not needed. I also know that this is a personal choice and I am no one to question it. But if we have to change our society and achieve gender equality, then traditions like these need to go away. They need to go away for the good.
Personally, I am not in favor of this tradition. I wouldn’t want my future wife to change her surname. Why would I? Why should I? I have a name. She has a name. Why change it? Let’s change other things that need to be changed.
What about you? Men, what do you think about this tradition? Women, do you really want to change your surnames after marriage? Do let me know.