Date Archives May 2017

Talent is an excuse!

What is talent? Something that you were born with? Something that makes you stand apart from everyone else? Something that one person has while others don’t?

I tend to disagree. I feel talent is an excuse. Yes, you have read it correctly. It is an excuse.

People often refer to successful people as talented. Take Shahrukh Khan (or anyone you see as successful) for instance. Wow! What an actor? What good looks? What screen presence? This guy must be highly talented. But what they don’t take into consideration is the amount of effort and toil he might have put in to be where he is. He just didn’t fall where he is today. He has worked his way there. His success is the result of his sheer determination and hard work. It is his attitude that has brought him where he is today. And similarly, you are where you are today because of your attitude.

Talent is a bullshit story that people keep repeating to make themselves feel better. Oh, you see, he can do it because he is talented. I am not talented. So how can I do it?

Convenient, isn’t it? Why say that you can’t put in that much effort? Why not say that you are not talented and end the story there itself?

A lot of it has to do with conditioning. People are conditioned this way right from their school days. A kid who scores good marks is said to be talented. He has an amazing brain, this is what everyone says. But the ones who score less are not seen as talented. They are said to have a poor brain.

But if you are to reach your true potential, you will have to get rid of this type of conditioning. You will have to retrain your brain to understand that talent has nothing to do with your success. If anyone puts in the right amount of effort in the right direction, that person is bound to be successful. It is that simple.

You don’t need to have an amazing IQ to be successful. It is just a matter of doing the right things for the right amount of time. If you stick to it for long enough, one day, success will come looking for you at your door. Everyone around you will be surprised by your accomplishments.

And you know what they will say? Ironically, they will say that you are talented.

But you will smile at them because you know that it was never about talent. If anything, talent was an excuse that didn’t stop you! You had the right attitude to put in the hard work. You had the determination to stick to your plans. And because you did all that, talent (or the lack of it) never mattered.

Should women change their surnames after marriage?

I feel sad whenever a girl changes her surname after marriage. Why? Because it doesn’t symbolize gender equality. It also has a foul smell of patriarchy associated with it.

By the way, why is it not the other way round? Why is it that the woman always changes her surname? Why don’t men do that? Strange, right?

Right through her teenage years, through school, through college, she has been known by that name. It is her identity. If not her whole identity, then at least a very important part of it. So why change it after marriage. Yes, you can attempt to justify it in a number of ways, but I find this tradition to be ridiculous.

If you are a man, just think about it for a moment. We are going to change your surname to something else. Are you willing? Now, the odds are you won’t agree. But there will be many of you who might say that you love her and you can do anything for her. So, you are willing to change your surname. But do you really need to change your name to show your love to her? No, absolutely not. In the same way, she doesn’t have to change her name to prove anything to you.

If you ponder some more over this tradition, you will see that it is one of those many inequalities that woman are subjected to. Inequalities like? There are a lot of them. I am sure you might already have thought of a few. I would have listed them but that would have taken a lot of time. Unfortunately, there are so many of them.

And what surprises me the most is the fact that some women seem so eager to change their surnames after marriage. Maybe, I am not correct. Maybe, that eagerness is only on the surface. But, trust me! That’s not needed. I also know that this is a personal choice and I am no one to question it. But if we have to change our society and achieve gender equality, then traditions like these need to go away. They need to go away for the good.

Personally, I am not in favor of this tradition. I wouldn’t want my future wife to change her surname. Why would I? Why should I? I have a name. She has a name. Why change it? Let’s change other things that need to be changed.

What about you? Men, what do you think about this tradition? Women, do you really want to change your surnames after marriage? Do let me know.

Tired? Frustrated? Thinking of giving up? Don’t you dare to!

You might not be enjoying your life at this moment. Things might seem screwed up beyond repair. You might feel dejected as you have no clue where your life’s headed. You might also have started hating your own self of late.

Are you over-reacting to things? No, definitely not. Everyone wants to be happy. You won’t find even a single person who doesn’t want to be happy. Being unhappy is not the most pleasant of feelings. So, don’t be so hard on yourself for feeling the way you are doing. You are already in trouble. Please don’t add to it by blaming yourself.

So, what should you do? Give up? Because that’s what people do when things don’t go as per plan? No, not in a million years!

Rather, you should wait. Yes, you read it correctly. You should wait. This might seem like the most stupid advice that someone has given to you. But just hold on for some time.

Cycles – A law of nature
Do you know how the concept of time came into place? We can measure time only because of the cyclical nature of the universe. When earth rotates once about its own axis, we call it a day. When it revolves around the sun once, we call it a year. And this happens over and over again. That is what I mean when I say cycles.

If you pay enough attention, you will realize that everything around us works in cycles. So, what does it have to do with you not giving up?

Everything!

You shouldn’t be giving up now because this cycle of bad things will soon come to an end. And a new cycle will begin — a cycle where you have more than enough opportunities to thrive. You will be so happy that you won’t believe it. Trust me! It will happen. It is bound to happen, provided you stay in the game for long enough.

Be it good or be it bad, everything will pass. That is the law of nature. And it is going to happen. You can’t work around it. You should work with it. You should learn to embrace it.

Enjoy each season. Make the most of every opportunity that you get. Be flexible enough to adjust. Learn from the farmer. He adjusts to the seasons. He sows the seeds in one season and reaps the produce in the other. It is that simple. Identify the season you are in and act accordingly.

Don’t you dare to give up!